Things the basic furry says by Sparks

Things the basic furry says:
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Don’t read if easily offended.
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Last chance to back out!
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Ok, here goes!
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* I said hello to you 3 years ago at a con, how can you possibly not remember me??

* Furries are so perverted it’s disgusting! *yiffs modified plushie*

* I want to go to this con, but someone I don’t like is also going so I’m just going to stay home and sulk about it.

* Yay! I just won a Your-Character-Here commission that’s going to cost me $200 that normally would have only cost me $30!

* I made it perfectly clear I’m a furry in every job application I filled out, why won’t anyone hire me?

* What do you mean I’m not looking for a job? I filled out two applications last month, what do you want from me?

* I’m so happy you and I are going to be mates for life, even though we will never actually meet!

* Yay! I finally got a new job! Wait, they won’t give me time off to go to a con? I QUIT!

* I need to be a popular artist so a lot of people will commission me, so I don’t have to look for a job.

* As far as I’m concerned everything on the internet should be considered absolute truth, and never be questioned.

* I just started some drama, who wants to fix it for me?

* I’m hearing rumors about another furry, I better go spreading it around!

* I don’t like the con’s theme for next year, so I’m going to boycott it for life.

* My mate and I broke up two years ago, and he’s already seeing someone else. I guess our relationship meant nothing to him!

* Hi, nice to meet you! Oh, you already have a mate? BLOCKED!

* I’m following you because I think your artwork is cool. Wait, you don’t draw porn? BLOCKED!

* I’m going to start my own convention, it looks so easy and fun to do!

* Why is everyone looking for a job? I’m smarter, I started my own GoFundMe!

* Oh no! Someone made a joke about furries, now the whole fandom is doomed!

* I will not rest until I have gotten rid of every single hater and troll on the internet.

* How dare you call me a basic furry??? My feelings are so hurt right now!