Category: commentary

Today is finally the day I start my 43 hour trip to LA. That is essentially 2 nights on the same train. At journeys end I am going to meet my cousins. All the while keeping them and those who are close to me, a clue what is happening, this is going to be tricky. For those who never taken a long haul journey on a train. It means there will be hours where I will have zero service on my cellphone. I brought books, movies and games to keep myself busy.

I kind of know what to expect, due to a journey to Washington DC a few years ago. The Dining Car will be a new experience.

In addition I put my Host app on my phone. What I will be posting and when is still a good question. So there will be times you check and nothing new. I have to wait to I get a signal. Saturday I hope I can use my laptop to give you a better idea what is going on… but we have to see.

All I can say what happens, I will be reporting. I know I leave a lot of questions. They are the same ones I am asking myself over and over again.

But please keep in mind this is the very 1st time we ever met, and I will admit I am nervous because of this.

I know this almost seems like an April Fools joke, but the following is real.

I know this shouldn’t be a big deal, after all we all do it. But not me, I have not made a secret out of this, but this will be the 1st time I am meeting what’s left of my father’s side of my family.

Why is this, my father died when I was quite young. Frankly I don’t remember much about him.

It has only been recently through therapy I am figuring out who I am, and what I want to do with my life. Which included a DNA test to find relatives.

California on the other hand has always been to me as if I am facing my own demons. You see my mother was so screwed up she was passing bad checks and rather live on the streets before asking relatives for help.

Yes I was homeless, for a time in California. I consider it a miracle I survived and made it to how old I am now.

I still have a lot of questions about my cousins and I am sure they despite how much we have talked, that they have to same for me.

What can I say, I am nervous and have a bit of anxiety over the trip.

Without revealing too many details. I leave the afternoon of April 17, and return to Chicago around the same time (fingers crossed) on April 26.

To how I am going down there I will leave secret for now. But follow me on X, Instagram, Threads, and Bluesky for updates https://linktr.ee/ahmarwolf I will be updating my travels. I might even post something on YouTube when this is all over.

Apparently my relatives like museums as much as me and we plan on seeing quite a few which I hope to talk about.

I hope to get a photo of me on the beach of Malibu during this as a special memento.

I have to keep my cousin’s names a secret. They don’t know about my blog and I have no desire to tell them about it or other details. Also I don’t want a hotel bill after this.

I really just hope I enjoy myself, my cousins if they are as nice as they seem, if your expecting more. This is it… more on April 17.

In the meantime I will continue to post updates. But please be aware unless my cousins give me access to their WIFI my choices are limited.

The credit card I use has put me unexpectantly on hold. You see it expires on June I know I am suppose to get a new one before that date and I am literally stuck and may have to change plans for this year. The problem is the date, here I am hoping to go to Mephit Fur Meet, plus reserve a room for MFF and I can’t until I get the new card. Hotels won’t let you make a reservation past when your credit card is suppose to expire. I can’t use my debit card… like a lot of you not enough to pay the bill. So meanwhile I am stuck. Same with a trip I hope to do in April. Except that delay comes from the people I plan to stay with. So I am just plan stuck.

Will update later

I mean no disrespect to anyone who knew Mark Merlino or knew of him. Like a lot of people I see the name and you feel a bit sad. But then you go on with your life.

In fact the only things I know about Mr Merlino was what I read online. Yes I know he was one of the founders of the furry fandom. I am also sure there are others who are writing something more flowery. But I have always been honest with my readers. To me it’s just a name. You don’t have to be sad unless you want. If you want to send flowers or something. I really don’t know as there is nothing on their X account or their YouTube channel

https://www.youtube.com/@PrancingSkiltaire/videos

That allows you to send a message

Not too uncommon and understand able. It’s just the way the fandom is.

Say what you got to say on your social media and like always life goes on.

I know there has been a lot of talk about Sexual Orientation both in the news and on social media. To a lot of us Greymuzzles we for the most part believe this subject is over done, making more of a what should be a simple answer.

I really wish it was that simple for me. It seems everyone in my entire family said I was straight and that was it. In fact I could not even talk about it to even my brother. He just said I was straight as he looked through gay porn. Really that is not even a joke. I believe my late brother was a closet gay. By the way he spoke and remarked about certain things. Like some guy having a fine ass, and what was said after would make anyone think he was gay. But yet he said he was straight, while refusing to look at photos of naked women.

Me I call myself Asexual because I am in limbo as I really don’t know. If I am straight, gay or bi, or one of more than a few dozens things I have seen online. I really just don’t know. I have dated a few times and frankly they all ended in disaster. For the record they were all women. But also I am not usually that clumsy.

Anyway it’s been 10 years since my brother died and I am living alone. It also allowed me to thank, about what I tend to be attracted to and that itself is not a simple answer. In fact it is both sexes, I tend to think what a certain body part feel in a certain place or what it be like to hold it.

I will be if you are gay and screaming that I am one. I have no doubt.

Maybe if time and circumstances allow it I might try a gay relationship. But meanwhile it has to wait as the whole thing makes me 100% uncertain about it all.

Other sites please repost

Give Them 90, came about both by @conhistory on X and what a friend recently experienced in hosting a panel at BLFC. As in they only found out they were actually hosting a panel with barely 2 weeks to put something together. To be honest I don’t know how Artists, Dealers and Performers do it when some cons barely give a week’s notice. That is what happened at IFC, thankfully it’s small enough to get a room nearby. But if it was any larger, I don’t know how they would do it.

The alternative is crazy for example at least 3 MFFs that I know about some actually slept in the Dealer’s / Artist area. Because they were unable to get a room anywhere.

All I am asking for is that conventions give Performers, Dealers as well as Artists 90 days from when they are chosen to when the convention actually starts. This way they can not only find a room somewhere but also advertise that they are going to be there.

If you think they should please contact your favorite convention and let them know how you feel.

I literally found this out less than 20 minutes ago as of this posting. So I am a bit stunned by this. Here I was working out a script for the next furry news recap I use to do for All Fur Media. Trying to wrap up all the loose ends before MFF which takes places in just a few weeks. When this happens.

I totally understand that having an idea and it not being a popular one can happen. It happened with a close friend, and others. So they cut back, I still wish them well.

In the meantime I already contacted the new owner, and see if anything I can contribute. Even if they don’t want me. Totally understandable, and we will see what happens.

By now winners and losers of MFF’s Room Lottery are being notified. As you might have already known there are more losers than actual winners, meanwhile the losers are scrambling to find any space in an available room… SOMEWHERE?!!!

This is the problem with major cons, they have there room lotteries so close to the actual date of the convention it’s either hard or nearly impossible to find a room anywhere.

This is why I say “Keep Your Opinions Open”.

To tell you the truth I made my reservation back in May, and got a room for a friend and I and it’s all set. But I know this doesn’t help anyone looking.

The way I see it, you have 2 Options. Look for a hotel anywhere in the area and commute to MFF, or check out AirBNB as of this post there are rooms available for as little as $106 a night. Of course commuting will happen, but with all the options including a pretty good local bus system. If you want to come, you may not have a choice.

With the over 6,000 views my videos having received on YouTube. It has proved what I have been saying for years. Everyone loves fur con videos. Although mine are simple, like I usually do is document the facts. I saw things as they are, I do not do any fancy tricks with the videos and I use easy to use cameras. But you got to get it up ASAP.

It also proves despite what I heard many say. There is an interest in Indy Fur Con and why because it is small fur con. You honestly get to do things that you can’t do at a larger events. That March of the Inflatables video proves that. Can you even imagine that taking place at MFF or similar larger cons. I say impossible. There are just too many there.

It’s the simple things I have seen vanish from MFF. Gatherings to take group or funny photos, or even hang out and talk with friends.

Frankly I am curious to see if my videos effects the number who will go to Indy Fur Con next year. But I won’t be there sadly, not that it wasn’t a great con. It truly was, it’s just that I want to cover more cons. The reality is that I can only do 2 a year. I am thinking about going to another con next year. Yet another convention that has few videos. If I told you how many you wouldn’t believe it, one year this convention had none.

Indy Fur Con has taught me so much both about myself and the cameras I use. As in which one takes a better video, and I need a few more battery packs. Along with other things that I hope will both increase the number of videos I make, and the quality.

Recently I have been betting a bunch of these basically it begins when someone says via a DM that they are an artist and eager to take your commission. Before you even decide what piece you want to have done, they tell you it will be $150.

Let me tell you there is not a single legit artist that will quote a price upfront. They want to know stuff like the background, how many characters and etc. So they know what price to quote you.

Another clue that they are scammers is that they have little to no art posted on their social media. I do I advise checking on that art via a Google Image search. My guess is most won’t be by them.

Also it is NEVER a contract even a Verbal One unless both parties agree.

One more thing, I asked one of these scammers to send me examples of their work. It was so obvious it was created by AI. So please be warned.

If you go to fur cons they are actually the best place to get a commission. As the con has a guarantee of sorts that the work will be completed. Meaning if they scam you they can get banned from every con.